I know I was being piece of shit
But what could have I done
I am sorry for myself that I didn’t see the chainsaw coming

Her acts were more beautiful
I was happy and thought it would be permanent
I just wanted more synchronicity among us
Hoping there is joyous in the future
For us, to grow together
But I never realized that I was small part of the play
Fuck me, I should have shouted loud in the beginning
Before the simulation

She was afraid that I would destroy her wings
But irony is
I let my house to be destroyed in front of me
I had assure her that I would let her grow
I just presented, a little brutal side of myself
Thinking there is life ahead, to enjoy the company
We had communication issue
But we were trying
I was trying to understand her body language and she was watching my eyes in detail
We were struggling
But we were hopeful that both of us of will have a great future ahead

I tried but I failed, failed for a reason?
I still don’t have any answer, any reason
But how long could I have been a puppet
How long could she be fearful with me
I was overthinker
She was adolescent

I am trying to make myself numb
To feel nothing
But her color and style still haunt me in the night

I imagined that my mood and her life will glow together
But fuck me, I became afraid
To hold the chaos for long, I just remained silent for some time
To make sure that the chainsaw didn’t hurt her
But she didn’t believe me
Next day she was gone, home is now a memory

I wish she is happy and has a family by now

I am alone, peeping from the window
With a dead horse in front of me and the ghost of future
Wishing she is here, to hold the hand
We might have shared joy together
But I know I am piece of shit

Dedidated to her (Everyone starts with a hope, we don’t know when and how chainsaw will appear)

(This beautiful bird was trying to lay eggs in a small bush in front of my apartment) Note: I wrote it for an online poetry forum, but later I got lazy

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